"That depends on my place in your heart," Hao Jian replied.
This question, though it seemed easy to answer, actually revealed Hao Jian's serious contemplation and feelings about their relationship.
Indeed, in this day and age, few people still care about loyalty and fidelity in love and marriage, nor does anyone mind the romantic connections between men and women, men and men, or women and women. After all, there are far worse, immoral things repeatedly happening in the world.
But Lian Ru Ning still had family. Even if her family wasn't conservative, the world itself could pose challenges to their future.
If Lian Ru Ning were to introduce Hao Jian to her family, saying, "This is my partner," even under her family's open-mindedness, they might still say, "She's too weak to protect you."
Most people, upon seeing a woman, assume she's the weaker party. It's an ingrained notion.
Hao Jian knew that even the head of the security department invited her to join the "Special Response Unit" not only for her abilities but also because her feminine appearance would lower others' guard, making it easier for her to assume advantageous roles in undercover tasks.
Hao Jian kept many things hidden, partly because she wasn't ready to "sacrifice herself for others." She wasn’t truly part of the system and didn’t bear such a responsibility, so she wanted to nip any expectations of using her charm for intelligence-gathering from the start.
If Lian Ru Ning had confidence in their future, then she would stay by her side no matter what. If Lian Ru Ning lacked that confidence, Hao Jian wouldn’t blame her and would cherish each day they had together.
---
Lian Ru Ning didn’t keep Hao Jian waiting long. She leaned over, kissed Hao Jian on the lips, and said, "Even if you became a zombie, I wouldn’t fear or leave you. I’d stay by your side every day, until either you vanish or I die."
Becoming a zombie was far scarier than death. To love someone who loses all reason, who sees only the living and fresh blood, would bring even deeper pain than heartbreak.
By making this vow, Lian Ru Ning showed that she had no intention of giving up on this relationship.
"Junior sister, you’re so cruel, cursing me like that," Hao Jian teased, narrowing her eyes. Only Lian Ru Ning noticed the emotions churning beneath.
After thinking for a moment, Lian Ru Ning responded, "Then maybe I should be the one who turns into a zombie? But if I did, how could I be aware enough to stay with you?"
Hao Jian laughed, "We don’t have to turn into zombies. Besides, I wouldn’t let you turn into one."
Lian Ru Ning didn’t continue with such naive questions. Instead, she took Hao Jian’s hand, her slender fingers tracing Hao Jian’s calloused fingertips.
"My period only lasts three days," Lian Ru Ning said suddenly, looking into Hao Jian’s eyes.
Hao Jian froze, a trace of unease crossing her face. "If you...want to, that’s okay too."
Noticing the faint blush on Hao Jian's ears, Lian Ru Ning was surprised that she could still be shy. For a moment, she felt embarrassed by her own directness, wondering if she’d been too forward, especially since they hadn’t been together for even a month.
But Hao Jian’s reply made her feel as though she’d been overtaken by passion, so in mild annoyance, she threw off Hao Jian’s hand and said, "I didn’t want it that much!"
"...Alright, then. Let’s just take a bath and get some rest. We’ve had to run from a fire and dodge zombies today; your bones must be worn out."
Lian Ru Ning thought: Though she’s still so considerate, it’s a bit frustrating!
---
There wasn’t a private bathroom here, so the two went to the public showers. Since the government building hadn’t been designed with showers in mind, they’d set up some portable cabins in the back as makeshift bathrooms.
Eight large showers had been built in total, five for men and three for women, positioned on the east and west sides respectively. Each large shower area had about twenty individual stalls. Inside each stall, there was no showerhead—just five communal faucets outside to fill water buckets for bathing in the stalls.
Though the facilities were basic, it was far better than most other shelters.
There was no line for the women’s showers, as the number of women survivors was noticeably fewer. Yet they still only had two fewer showers than the men’s, likely because women tend to take longer showers.
Hao Jian and Lian Ru Ning washed their bodies first, then went outside to wash their hair, not wanting to occupy the stalls for too long and hold others up.
Many women had the same idea, sitting on the open ground, washing their hair while chatting. Seeing that Hao Jian and Lian Ru Ning were unfamiliar faces, someone approached them to make conversation.
"Hey, which department are you from? Sorry, I haven’t had time to meet everyone since I got transferred here. There are just so many people!" asked a woman, smiling at Hao Jian, who looked about twenty-seven or twenty-eight.
After a moment’s thought, Hao Jian replied, "We’re record keepers for the Command Center’s Security Division."
The security chief had given her the cover identity of a record keeper, a new position responsible for logging security incidents to aid investigations. It was essentially a clerical role, though she didn’t actually need to do the work. Today’s meeting was simply to get her familiar with it to avoid suspicion.
The woman believed her answer and replied, "Our work is pretty similar then! I’m in the Political Department. I’m Zhao Yuhuan."
Zhao Yuhuan was a warm, outgoing person who couldn’t quite shake her old-world ways, even in the apocalypse. She held Hao Jian and Lian Ru Ning captive with stories, jumping from pre-apocalypse memories to post-apocalypse insights. She lamented the loss of civilization and the issues with society “out there,” while reminding the two to keep themselves safe.
To Hao Jian and Lian Ru Ning, her lecture felt a lot like getting cornered by a neighborhood committee auntie, though even an auntie might not talk as much as Zhao Yuhuan.
Hao Jian, ever the listener, quietly absorbed the tales, while Lian Ru Ning politely nodded and chimed in, encouraging Zhao Yuhuan to get even more enthusiastic, almost to the point of setting them up with some eligible bachelors she knew.
Lian Ru Ning declined her matchmaking attempt, mentioning that she hadn’t given up on finding her family yet and might leave here to search for them. Zhao Yuhuan’s eyes lit up. “Looking for someone? That’s no problem! I know plenty of people! Just tell me what they look like, and I’ll ask around!”
Lian Ru Ning’s heart lifted at the offer, but she didn’t dare put too much hope in it. Even Wang Zishao hadn’t been able to promise results in locating her family. She thanked Zhao Yuhuan, and they chatted as they walked back to the dorm, completely leaving Hao Jian behind.
Hao Jian: …So, she *was* still mad at me.
____
After agreeing to meet for breakfast the next morning, Lian Ru Ning finally said goodbye to Zhao Yuhuan. Back in her room, she realized she’d forgotten all about Hao Jian, though she quickly reasoned that Hao Jian was no child, she’d make it back on her own. She sat by the fan, drying her hair.
It was nearly an hour before Hao Jian returned. By then, Lian Ru Ning was dozing off in her chair. She opened her eyes, checked her phone—nearly ten o’clock. “Why’d you take so long?”
Hao Jian took a deep breath, completely unfazed, as she pulled out a small box. Before Lian Ru Ning could make out what it was, she heard Hao Jian say, “I washed my hands with soap, but I still thought it might be a bit unhygienic. So I bought something.”
Lian Ru Ning’s brain stalled. Her face flushed instantly when she saw what was written on the small box. The light made her cheeks glow a soft red.
“Where’d you get that?”
Under normal circumstances, men’s items could be found in any supermarket, but things for women? Usually, those were online-only. And there wasn’t even a supermarket here.
Hao Jian grinned, satisfied. “It took me a lot of effort to find, or I wouldn’t be back so late.”
“…”
Remembering Hao Jian had turned her down earlier, Lian Ru Ning huffed and turned back to the bed. “I’m tired. Going to sleep.”
Hao Jian might have looked like a seasoned pro, but most of her knowledge came from the internet, she’d never actually put it to practice. She felt a mix of anticipation and embarrassment, but also a bit of hesitation, she wasn’t sure Lian Runing was really ready.
Yet Hao Jian’s actions had given Lian Ru Ning the impression that she *was* fully prepared, which left her frustrated.
After much deliberation, Hao Jian realized that in a world where tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed, there was little point in overthinking things. So after spending an hour outside in the wind to dry her hair, she finally purchased a box from the system marketplace and returned.
Lian Ru Ning, now lying with her back to Hao Jian, heard her enter. Hao Jian hesitated, then decided to lie down as well.
With only the fan on full blast, it whirred noisily, blowing air over them.
After a moment’s silence, Hao Jian shamelessly slid a finger sleeve onto her left index finger, leaning in to show Lian Ru Ning. “Look at this sleeve—it’s pretty, don’t you think?”
Lian Ru Ning couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “Who talks about finger sleeves that way?”
Then, remembering she was supposed to be “sleepy,” she stifled her laughter and stayed quiet.
Hao Jian pressed on. “So, does Little Junior Sister think my fingers are pretty?”
Lian Ru Ning, holding back laughter, glanced at her fingers, noting, “You’re not even left-handed. And that’s on your middle finger.”
Hao Jian smirked, her plan working. “Thank you for the advice, Little Junior Sister, but did I ever mention my left hand’s pretty flexible too?”
“...?” Lian Ru Ning lay back, watching as Hao Jian playfully posed her index and middle fingers like a pair of scissors. “Little Junior Sister, want to try?”
Lian Ru Ning’s rational side wanted to refuse, but faced with Hao Jian’s enticing look, she admitted a mischievous part of her was eager to experience this kind of closeness with her.
“Well…then hurry. We promised Sister Zhao we’d meet her for breakfast tomorrow.”
Hao Jian couldn’t help but roll her eyes before swatting Lian Runing’s behind lightly. “Little Junior Sister, thinking of someone else at a time like this? You must think That I am a rookie and not worth your attention!”
Lian Ru Ning wanted to deny it, but Hao Jian was right. They were both beginners. Countless video-watching sessions meant little here, after all, as the poet Lu You once said, “From books alone, knowledge is shallow, one must experience to truly know.”
Hao Jian wanted Lian Ru Ning to feel this new world with every inch of her skin, to understand the depth of their souls entwined.
So, Lian Ru Ning barely had a chance to deny her interest. From the left hand to the right, from exploration to familiarity, they found a rhythm together, each finger playing notes that resonated with the other.
The fan couldn’t cool the heat between them, and their shared warmth wouldn’t wane. They exchanged glances and laughs, then dove deeper, their fingers playing a tune unique to them both, blurring any sense of separation.