The irreconcilable conflict between Zheng Jinmei and Zheng Xianwen first became clear during that period.
From then on, she realized that Zheng Xianwen's mindset had gone seriously awry, so she started trying different methods to communicate with him.
However, Zheng Xianwen was no longer the obedient seven or eight-year-old child. He might have seen more about human nature than Zheng Jinmei.
He believed in the malice of human nature, understood the lure of benefits, and, like most people in the world, loved money without concealing it. He didn't think there was anything wrong with that. Listening to Zheng Jinmei patiently explain some grand but empty principles, he only felt that she had lived in vain for over 30 years and was extremely naive and childish.
There were actually very few outbursts of quarrels between them. Every time Zheng Jinmei spoke, Zheng Xianwen would cover his ears and refuse to communicate with her. When he was annoyed, he wouldn't even bother to respond to her kind questions like "Do you want some fruit?" or "What do you want to eat when you come home for the holidays?"
During the winter vacation of his second year in high school, they spent a bit more time together. Despite Zheng Jinmei's efforts to control herself, she felt mentally broken by Zheng Xianwen's unusual resistance.
In a fit of rage, she screamed at Zheng Xianwen to leave. He immediately packed his bag and left, disappearing for over a week.
Zheng Jinmei admitted that she had no winning chance and could only choose to compromise.
She was like a gambler who had reached a dead end, putting all her chips on Zheng Xianwen, even though she knew the odds of winning were slim, she was still unwilling to leave the table.
She tirelessly increased her bet, giving unconditionally, trying to win back Zheng Xianwen's heart.
In dealing with her son, she was far less decisive than when she had left Han Songshan.
And Zheng Xianwen felt emboldened because he could go to City D to find Han Songshan.
At first, he would fabricate a reason or two to deceive Zheng Jinmei, but later he didn't even bother. By his senior year, he even dared to skip classes to go to City D.
Whenever he showed up, Han Songshan would politely host him, but most of the time, he would excuse himself by saying he was too busy and let his assistant accompany him.
Once, Han Songshan took him to a high-end restaurant, and they ran into an acquaintance.
After exchanging a few pleasantries, the acquaintance kept glancing at Zheng Xianwen. Han Songshan then introduced him with a smile, saying, "This is a relative from my hometown."
Zheng Xianwen stood aside, saying nothing, and simply nodded at the acquaintance.
After the person left, Han Songshan put his arm around Zheng Xianwen's shoulder and whispered in his ear, explaining that he didn't mind acknowledging their relationship publicly, but it would affect the company's stability since he was already married with other children.
Zheng Xianwen felt a little regretful but considerately said he understood.
He realized that Zheng Jinmei was not suitable to be Han Songshan's wife anymore. The gap between them was too vast for them to live together, especially since it was his mother who had chosen to leave back then.
After leaving the restaurant, Han Songshan drove him around the city center.
Having seen it a few times, the bustling cityscape no longer amazed him as it had initially. The bright lights and lively scenes were all pretty much the same.
Han Songshan's car stopped at a crowded intersection. Pointing at a massive advertising screen across the street, he said to Zheng Xianwen, "There are classes among people. The idea of equality is just a pretty saying. Maybe it will be realized in a hundred or a thousand years, but definitely not now. As long as there are classes, there will be highs and lows. You need to understand what kind of person you want to be."
The screen was displaying an advertisement for Han Songshan's company.
Zheng Xianwen rolled down the window, looking up at the screen, then glanced at the pedestrians waiting for the light.
Among the crowded throng, some stood numbly and hollowly, some held hands but were too tired to speak, and some, like he had just done, were watching the high-definition advertisement across the street.
"I pursue success because I refuse to be mediocre," Han Songshan's words seemed magical. He looked at Zheng Xianwen, his eyes gleaming, and with a smile, his eyes slightly squinted due to the pull of facial muscles. "When I first arrived in City D, I told myself that if this was a hunting ground, I would be the wolf standing on top of the flock, making the prey look up to me."
His ambition was intoxicating because he was a successful man.
Zheng Xianwen could hear his heartbeat quicken. Even as Han Songshan dropped him off at the station, he was still immersed in that thrilling excitement.
As he was about to leave, Han Songshan, as always, left him with 500 yuan.
Zheng Xianwen's lips felt dry. He raised his hand to touch the chapped skin and licked it with his tongue, tasting a faint hint of blood.
He said calmly, "Han Songshan was right about one thing: the rules of society are unfair because human nature itself is immeasurable. Its standards are skewed."
Zheng Jinmei had spent countless efforts and money on him, but his balance easily tipped in favor of the higher-status Han Songshan.
He thought Han Songshan was generous and Zheng Jinmei was petty.
So Han Songshan represented righteousness and love, while Zheng Jinmei represented stubbornness and naivety.
The time spent with Han Songshan made him immensely happy. There was no pressure from studies or financial burdens. Han Songshan never troubled him with trivial matters and didn't even care about them.
This made Zheng Xianwen feel that as long as he was Han Songshan's son, he was naturally more successful than others.
This greatly satisfied his vanity, something he had never experienced in over ten years. He regained the self-esteem he had to abandon due to poverty.
No one dislikes the joy that money brings, and Zheng Xianwen was not a wise man. He was suddenly overwhelmed by it and became intoxicated.
His grades had never been good, and under Han Songshan's influence, he became even less interested in studying. If it weren't for wanting to give Zheng Jinmei an explanation, he might not have even taken the college entrance exam.
As expected, his results were not good enough to get into a university, he just barely passed the junior college threshold.
Zheng Jinmei was still wavering between persuading him to repeat the year or apply for a college, and Zheng Xianwen, hesitating, called Han Songshan for advice.
"Whether or not you study isn't the most important thing. What's important is personal ability," Han Songshan said lightly. "I only value capable people."
Zheng Xianwen's answer had actually been decided long ago, but at that time, he didn't hear the hidden meaning in Han Songshan's words. He thought he was agreeing with him, so he firmly chose not to go to college.
"I don't want to spend over ten years studying, only to end up like my mom, finding a stable job that pays a few thousand yuan, working for others, and living a tight life. Not even being able to buy a slightly expensive piece of clothing without checking the account books and calculating repeatedly. Living like that is too humiliating," Zheng Xianwen said. "That's what I told my mom. I nearly drove her to her grave."
Zheng Xianwen's tone didn't carry much anger. He had nothing to be angry about, as he had long recognized his own foolishness.
The kindness and amiability that Han Songshan dispensed in bulk were like toxic counterfeit goods, harmful to the core. It was precisely because of his own foolishness that he accepted this batch of substandard products without question.
He joked, "Look how smart Han Songshan is. He never does anything to make me dislike him, and he doesn't have to be responsible for me. He lives a carefree life, leaving my mom and me to bear the bitter consequences. Yet, he can still earn my gratitude and admiration."
He Chuan Zhou had someone bring in a cup of water and placed it in front of Zheng Xianwen.
Zheng Xianwen touched it with his hand, stared at the floating shadow on the water's surface, but didn't pick it up to drink.
After graduating from high school, Zheng Xianwen enjoyed a period of carefree and indulgent life. He became somewhat complacent and exposed his connection with Han Songshan.
It might also be that he was too arrogant to maintain the lie.
Zheng Xianwen recalled, "After my mom found out, she thought Han Songshan had corrupted me, inciting me not to go to college. She went to confront him and they had a huge argument. I got the news and went to bring her back. When we got home, we had an unprecedented conflict."
Zheng Jinmei had never been so furious before, but Zheng Xianwen could barely remember the details of the argument. He was lost in his dreams of a bright future.
"I said things like, 'You're embarrassing yourself,' 'I hope you can have some dignity,' 'No matter what the reason, let the past be the past, why can't you just let it go?'... things like that."
Zheng Xianwen's voice was dry as he spoke, turning his head to the side as if the words weren’t his own, but whispers from someone else, making him feel disoriented.
"Anyway, I said a lot of crap."
Brother Huang and Captain Zhang listened solemnly. The story had progressed to this point, and they had changed positions several times, their expressions growing darker as they refrained from speaking.
If this was their son, they would have beaten him to death.
"You probably know what happened next." Zheng Xianwen slowly closed his eyes, his voice hoarse. He took a sip of water from his cup.
Maybe Zheng Jinmei had seen his true nature, or maybe she realized he was beyond saving. From that point on, she became more clear-headed and stopped revolving her life around Zheng Xianwen.
Zheng Xianwen didn’t gain much from Han Songshan either. The latter, using the excuse of toughening him up, had him start out on his own in City A.
Han Songshan was extremely pragmatic, only caring about who could be useful to him. Whether someone was his son wasn't crucial, especially since he had more than one child.
Zheng Xianwen wanted to prove himself to gain Han Songshan's approval and power.
Han Songshan had initially risen to prominence through his eloquence. Zheng Xianwen studied under him for a while and felt he had the same talent. At first, everything went smoothly; he easily raised enough startup capital.
However, he lacked the determination to endure hardship and didn’t understand market analysis or business operations. For others, the hardest part is the beginning; for him, everything after the beginning was hard, leading quickly to complete failure.
He didn’t see this as his fault. Through his attempts, he developed a personal code of ethics: he would start businesses, but without engaging in fraud or pyramid schemes.
He believed he was morally upright, but just as he relied on human greed to amass wealth, those who lost their money due to greed didn’t agree with his standards.
Zheng Xianwen recalled something and laughed, but the fleeting warmth vanished quickly, leaving a rigid, strange smile: "There was an incident where my mom still came to take care of me. She was so foolish. Han Songshan never showed up."
Even so, he remained immersed in the dream of success that Han Songshan had woven for him.
He plunged headfirst into the glittering trap wrapped in gold, enchanted and obsessed. Even being used by Han Songshan and serving time in prison as a scapegoat didn't fully wake him up. Not until Zheng Jinmei committed suicide.